I'm writing this on Wednesday, September 2nd. I decided to share this post because I think it's something that's not really talked about a whole lot. I've seen some things about it but not very much. Anyway, let's get into it.
One of the big controversial topics with people being required to wear masks is about people with asthma, assault PTSD, panic attacks, anxiety attacks, etc. It's something that I sympathize with but have never really experienced it myself. But today, that changed.
I've written about my social anxiety before and how I work around that and if you haven't read that post yet, I highly recommend it. It's one of my favorites. Anyway, it's something that I've struggled with in the past but have managed to get it under control. I find that one of my main triggers is being in contact with people that I know don't like me. Sometimes, I'm ready for it and I can prepare myself for it. Like the other day, I had to run a shift at work with one of my co-workers who I know has no desire to be around me or talk to me. I used my grounding techniques before, during, and after the shift to get myself through it and was able to prepare my mind for it prior to going into work. And sometimes, I can't even see it coming and it catches me off guard. That's the worst kind (duh). That's what happened today...
I was walking to my class in one of the main buildings on campus. It was raining so I waited until the last possible second to my mask on before walking into the building. The way this building is set up you go through one door, up/down some stairs and then go through another set of doors. When I went through the first door I heard someone almost directly behind me. So, naturally, when I went to go through the second set of doors, I went to hold it open for the person behind me, or rather, swing it open for them to catch. When I turned around to make sure they were there to get the door I realized that it was my ex's older brother who, to me, is already not the nicest person in the world; so seeing him directly behind me, something I wasn't ready for, startled me incredibly. I wasn't threatened by him or anything of that sort but my body didn't think that.
My heart started racing, I was shaking, and worst of all, started breathing very quickly. I had no idea where he was going so my immediate plan was to go the bathroom. But of course, once you're in a building, you can't take off your mask, ANYWHERE. So, while I wasn't worried about the fact that my body was quivering and my heart was going 100 miles a minute, I was worried about the fact that I couldn't breathe.
Having an anxiety attack in and or itself is horrible but trying to recover yourself from one with a mask on is even worse. Imagine putting a wet rag over your face and hyperventilating at the same time. That's what it felt like. So, I'm panicking because I just ran into someone I wasn't expecting while also panicking about the fact that I can't get deep breaths in, oh yeah and no one to help me.
This experience was one that I never imagined I would have. It's something you don't expect to happen until it does. And I hope I never have to feel it again. I empathize with anyone that deals with this on more than one occasion. But the real question...
How did I fix this with less than 5 minutes to get to class?
Grounding. Techniques. And I'll tell you my favorite one.
One of the reasons we get anxiety is because we are placed in situations that we cannot control. So, to calm ourselves down AKA ground ourselves, we have to focus on things that we can control. This one uses four of the five senses.
So, instead of trying to breathe sharp, quick breaths, I switched to taking slow, deep breaths for counts of four. In that time you first use your sense of hearing, name three things you can hear right then and there. Then, use your sense of sight and find something to look at. While you're looking at it, use your sense of touch to imagine what that would feel like if you were touching it. And finally, use your sense of smell to describe what the space around you smells like to you.
When you use grounding techniques it forces your brain to stop thinking about the thing you can't control and start thinking about the things that you can control. It's something that completely changed the game for me when it comes to anxiety.
I hope this was helpful to anyone that deals with anxiety, panic attacks, etc. while wearing a mask and I empathize with anyone who deals with it.
<3
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