"Come it'll be fun I promise."
"You're no fun."
"But everyone will be doing it."
"Lighten up this is supposed to be fun."
"Just don't think about it."
I GET IT! My anxiety is annoying. You don't think I know that?? You don't think I wish I could change it??
It's easy for people without social anxiety to say things like this because they don't understand what it's like to live with social anxiety. They can't possibly imagine what it's like to feel what we feel in situations that trigger social anxiety. Lucky them.
Hi. I'm back to the social anxiety topic because recently it has been something that's happening more often than not in my life and I wanted to bring light to it once again.
According to Mental Health America, Social Anxiety Disorder affects 15 million American Adults and it starts as early as childhood. It is the 3rd most common mental health disorder.
Social anxiety is quite possibly one of the hardest mental battles that I face personally. Sure, depression is difficult, but I can easily separate myself from others and deal with it myself. I can avoid being a burden to others with my depression. Social anxiety effects people other than myself, which is what makes it so difficult. The idea of being a burden to someone else, getting in someone else's way of doing something, or being left behind because I can't overcome something is the worst feeling in the world.
With social anxiety, part of me says, "Do it, don't think about it," etc. but it's not able to overcome the part of me that says, "You're going to embarrass yourself in front of everyone, everyone is going to laugh at you, they'll remember it forever, it will always haunt you just like the other times," etc. If there is any way to describe social anxiety, this is it. These are the thoughts that I think about when I am in a triggering situation. Wanting to snap yourself out of it and be like the other people that don't experience it, to be able to do things without a second thought; then there's the crippling fear that you're going to embarrass yourself that consumes you and you can't do it.
The phrases that started this blog post are things that have been said to me when I am facing social anxiety. If there's anything you should NOT do to someone facing social anxiety, it's say any of these things or anything related to them, especially if you are made aware of the fact that they have social anxiety. All it does is make me feel more awful about myself than I already do. I could burst into tears from people saying this to me.
Having social anxiety and being fully aware of it and then having someone tell you to just snap out of it makes me feel like the stupidest person on the planet. I already know that it's completely irrational; people aren't going to remember me embarrassing myself for the rest of my life and the chances of me actually embarrassing myself are slim. I already beat myself up for having it, I don't need someone else to reinforce that or basically brag about how easy it is for them to not have it.
For those of you that don't experience social anxiety, it's easy to tell the people that do have it to just not. It's not that easy. Don't forget to respect the people that cannot help the crippling fear of social anxiety. Instead of saying something as foolish as, "Just don't have it," try to ask how you can help.
Comments