It's feeling so numb that you can't even cry it out.
It's feeling so overwhelmed that dropping something like your toothbrush on the ground can set you off.
It's feeling so tired that you go to sleep at 8:30 pm.
It's feeling so drained you don't even have the energy to shower. The energy to cook yourself a meal. The energy to get out of bed.
It's feeling so numb you could sit and stare at a wall for an hour.
It's knowing you need to cry to release the stress but not being able to do it.
It's finding any possible reason to be around other people so that you don't have to go back to thinking.
It's preparing yourself for the worst things so that you are not surprised when it happens.
It's overthinking everything so bad that you get yourself into a hole you can't convince yourself out of.
It's driving around and wondering..
It's not wanting to go home alone because you know all you'll do is think.
It's doing whatever you can to get to sleep as fast as possible so you don't think about what you're feeling.
It's being afraid of what your mind can convince you of.
It's feeling like you can't escape this loneliness and helplessness.
Depression effects too many people these days. Discovery Mood & Anxiety Program says,
"About 20 percent of all teens experience depression before they reach adulthood.
Between 10 to 15 percent suffer from symptoms at any one time.
Only 30 percent of depressed teens are being treated for it."
Depression looks different to everyone. It feels different to everyone. A few weeks ago I experience a great deal of these for about a week. I was in a hole that I really felt like I wasn't going to get out of. But, after a good cry, a good self care day, and some personal time, I was able to feel better. And then a few days later it started to come back.
Depression is a mental illness that can take over our lives and make us feel like we are never going to be in control of our mind. I have been able to handle mine with various grounding techniques and breathing techniques.
I open up about my mental illnesses because I hope that it will help spread awareness and make others feel like they aren't alone in the things that they feel. I don't talk about them to make anyone worry about me that reads these.
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