I've been back in the dating game for about eight months now and this is what I've noticed.
People always talk about being in toxic relationships and trying to avoid them or get out of them or notice them before you're in too deep. And I would agree with them. I was in a toxic relationship for over a year. It's something I learned from and continue to apply in my life.
But here's the thing. It's not just certain people that are toxic. It's the dating game as a whole. And I'll tell you why.
These past eight months I have spent finding myself, as most newly single girls do. I spent time to myself, focusing on what I want, what I want to accomplish, who I want to be, and how I want to do that. I started eating healthier, working out, building up my confidence, and even writing this blog! I decided that my future and who I see myself as was more important than anything else. This is all well and good, but when someone comes into your life and you start imagining what ifs, that all goes away. I truly believe this is something everybody goes through.
"I like them, but what if they don't like me?"
"I want to go out with them but what if that's not what they want?"
"I'm not doing this with anyone else but they very well could be."
"I could definitely end up getting hurt from this."
We start wondering all these things and even start doing things to get their attention to see what they'll do about it; posting on Instagram or Snapchat. I am guilty of all of these things, and it's something I realized this morning. This is the dating game, and that's exactly it, a game. Suddenly everything starts getting in your head and making you overthink it all. We try to convince ourselves that if it's right it wouldn't be like this but I don't believe in that. Because the first part of dating anyone is wondering how it's going in their head compared to how it's going in your head. And then we just start spiraling.
The dating game is toxic to us because it forces us to overthink everything, especially if things are just starting out. But sometimes, we just have to say f*ck it and jump in head first. You might get hurt, you might not. But you can't know unless you try. You have to overcome all those negative thoughts and what ifs and just do it. Hell, that's what I'm doing. And I hate it LOL. But it's part of life and it's part of the game.
Comments