There's a feeling I get, when all the stress I've pushed down starts to boil over and it's all about to come out at once in one big, ugly cry session LOL. It's a tingling feeling that goes through my chest and down my left arm. Maybe I'm not the only one, I don't know.
It's what my family calls, "hitting the wall," when we've had all that we can handle and we can't handle it anymore. Me and my sisters like to keep each other updated on when it happens to us because for some reason, it tends to happen around the same time.
Anyway, it happens to me about once a month and as badly as I want someone to be there for me or for there to be someone I can call crying and say that I've hit my wall, I also want to shut the whole world out and just get through it on my own. It's a very conflicting feeling and one that I've had to navigate. I've noticed I'm very open about it after the fact, but I really should be more open about it before it happens so that maybe it won't happen near as often. However, the other thing I have figured out that I need to do is figure out how to manage my stress and keep it under control.
There are a few things I am doing to try to manage my stress. Yoga, meditation, and time management.
It goes without saying that yoga and meditation allows me to focus on myself for a few minutes a day and pretty much shut anything else out. It's a version of self care that doesn't involve taking an hour or two out of time that I don't have. I have thoroughly enjoyed it so far and manage to do it a few times a week.
The other thing is time management. With a fraction of my classes being online, I am given the opportunity to get ahead on assignments, quizzes, exams, etc. By doing this I am able to lower my stress levels by knowing that the assignments that are due have already been turned in. Lack of procrastination is something that I pride myself in when it comes to school.
Hitting the wall is something that's normal and happens to me fairly often. But it's also something that I have been able to learn from and put off by managing my stress levels. Now, the whole being open about it and letting people in? That's a whole other thing I'm still working on LOL
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